Continuing a year-long strategy, Evertree Hospital has eliminated its pastoral care due to lack of Return on Investment, or ROI. Used in many industries as a tool to measure the relative value of a program or initiative (high ROI is desired), the financial instrument is now being applied more frequently throughout the healthcare industry. The move follows other cuts citing the same lack of ROI at the hospital, including the shuttering of the organization’s web site, elimination of the marketing department, and demolition of the parking ramp.
“Look, times are tough, and if you can’t prove the positive financial impact on this organization, then it’s time to go,” said Evertree Chief Financial Officer Al Dunlap. “Hey, even God needs to show an ROI.”
Dunlap added that additional hospital services and amenities could follow in the same path.
“Our patient rooms are still decorated using a 1972 mauve, and there’s talk of updating the decor,” he said. “Show me someone who can prove the financial return on a can of paint, and I’ll show you a magician.”
Evertree Hospital Pastor Bill Gramm was unavailable for comment. The hospital will be auctioning off pews, crosses and other religious artifacts on e-Bay beginning July 1.