In response to the worsening economy, healthcare advertising agency Stedman, Trust and Devinshire (STD), New York, has announced a new promotion for hospitals and health systems: free consulting for life.

“For new clients who sign up with us before July 1, we’re offering to work for free for the life of the relationship,” said STD president David Pogilvy. “The margins are low – hell, they’re zero. But tough times call for tough action.”

According to Pogilvy, the agency will provide new clients with free marketing, PR, advertising and communications work, without any costs, for as long as the client remains active. The move comes in response to the ongoing budget cuts at hospital marketing departments, which were followed by discounts on services and offers of free consulting by other advertising and marketing firms.

“Others may offer a free audit, or $10,000 in free consulting,” said Pogilvy. “But we’ve decided why limit the discount? We want STD spread everywhere.”

Asked how current paying clients might respond to the promotion, Pogilvy said he wasn’t worried.

“Sure, they could quit, and then sign on as ‘new’ to receive free work forever,” he said. “But we have true symbiotic relationships with our clients. Why look for free help when you can pay us hundreds of thousands of dollars for a truly authentic experience? Uhhh…oh s***. This is off the record, right?”