“We have had a long history of success using focus groups to improve our advertising,” said Sheepherd CEO Jerry Feeble. “They have consistently provided invaluable advice, like how our ads should include more doctors in them, or how the logo should be much, much bigger. One person said she liked seeing lots of different fonts in each ad, so now we try to use at least 12 fonts in every ad! As targets of our marketing, they obviously have tremendous marketing expertise. So we thought, as patients of our clinical care, they would have the same tremendous expertise on surgical procedures. QED.”

The heart surgery focus group started with a 20-minute presentation from a cardiovascular surgeon on how open-heart surgery worked. Feeble said that while the surgeon initially complained that he would never be able to explain such an extraordinarily complex procedure to average people, let alone in less than an hour, the participants seemed to get the idea fairly quickly.

“You could tell from the blank stares on their faces that they were in deep thought, their minds racing with how to improve on our approach,” said Feeble. “As soon as we started asking questions, they provided feedback, which proves they know what they’re talking about.”

Feeble said that a number of the ideas stemming from the focus group will become policy at Sheepherd, such as having surgeons on roller skates for a more “fun” hospital experience, and enabling patients to begin the anesthesia process at home so they can go directly from the car to the operating room.

“Look, these folks may not have any medical expertise, but they happen to live in our market, and they give opinions when asked” said Feeble. “That makes them experts in our book.”

Take the new Tyler T. Tylerton Center for Knuckle Replacement Surgery in Chicago, IL. The “TTT Center,” as system marketing lead Jonathan Sampson J. Johnson calls it, is part of the Mary Ginger Bone and Joint Institute, which is housed in the Western Southside Chicago Medical Center, which is part of the Prairie Meadows Health System, a wholly-owned subsidiary of PMS Health LLC.

“There are so many advantages to using multiple names, like being able to come up with different logos every time,” says Johnson. “Our docs love designing logos, and this gives them an outlet. It also lets our designers spread their wings and really get creative by coming up with new brochure designs with every campaign. Our marketing plan looks like a kaleidoscope of messages, strategies and tactics. It’s like Christmas every day.”

Johnson said the organization tried a unified branding approach in the early 2000s, but found it too mundane.

“The signage was all the same, we only had one website, even the hospital bills all looked like they came from the same place. Where’s the inspiration in that?” says Johnson. “Our patients love trying to figure out exactly how it all fits together – it’s like a little game, like pocket Scrabble or something.”

Johnson said that while the TTT Center sets a new internal record with a five-level naming derivation, the organization is hoping to go to an unprecedented sixth level by co-branding with a system in the northern suburbs.

“And just wait until we launch our ACO – the possibilities are endless!”

“Like the legislator in Vermont, we were flabbergasted that hospitals actually have to attract patients with marketing and advertising,” said WiseBucks editor Joe Duhh. “That’s how regular businesses operate, sure. But hospitals? That would be like saying politicians have to spend money to get elected – doesn’t it just happen?”

Last year’s award-winning study, which uncovered that hospitals are actually businesses, won WiseBucks the coveted Most Obvious Reporting On News (or MORON) award. Its findings, which caused endless congressional hearings and helped fuel the grassroots “Band-Aid Party” movement, showed that:

• despite the fact that most hospitals are “non-profit,” they still must take in more money then they spend
• revenue from many hospital patients – such as those with Medicare insurance – does not cover the cost of serving those patients
• shockingly, some hospitals have actual waterfalls and valet parking

WiseBucks has won acclaim for its past investigating reporting, including:

• “Uncovering the truth: the sun rises in the east”
• “This just in: gravity works.”
• “Money does not, in fact, grow on trees – an investigative report.”

Janet Nolan, MD, a cardiovascular surgeon, was advocating for printing advertising on java jackets (coffee cup wraps) to help address a persistent lag in cardiology consults.

“Everyone drinks coffee, and many will eventually require cardiovascular intervention,” said Dr. Nolan. “And think of all the caffeine-induced arrhythmias we’d be in front of. The strategy is so obvious it makes you question the intelligence of our marketing staff.”

Vice President of Marketing Ted Beech tried to counter Dr. Nolan by stressing the referral-driven nature of cardiac care, as well as the high cost of printing thousands of custom coffee cup wraps compared with the minimal conversion rate. Finding no flexibility from Dr. Nolan, Beech played the logic card:

“Look, I don’t tell you how to perform heart surgery,” said Beech. “Why won’t you trust that I know what’s best when it comes to marketing?”

Shocking those in attendance, Dr. Nolan offered to let Beech perform surgery if he would consider the coffee cup wrap strategy. Feeling he had to step up the challenge, Beech agreed. He has been scheduled to perform a normally simple aortic valve repair on a 52-year old male early next week.

“Of course I’m terrified,” said Beech, explaining that unfortunate provisions of HIPAA actually preclude him from warning the patient of this unprecedented move. Staff have coined the switch “Dare to Care” after administration rejected a “Freaky Surgery Friday” moniker. If the surgery is successful, Beech has promised to print 500,000 coffee cup wraps with the slogan “Considering heart surgery? Sip the best service around at Evergreen Hospital.”

“We’ve done patient surveys, and people have indicated that they can’t make informed decisions based on quality awards that are only given annually,” stated company spokesperson Cindy Hinky. “From our perspective, the more ways we can slice and dice quality rankings, the more information patients will have. If we can have 10 rankings, why not 100, or 1,000? More is always better.”

MedRankers will update their web-based rankings on a weekly basis, and will issue the awards every Monday. Hospitals who wish to promote their rankings will need to sign exclusive licensing agreements by the following Tuesday, and all advertising will need to be pulled prior to the next rankings, the following Monday.

“We realize this doesn’t leave hospitals much time to promote their rankings,” says Hinky. “But that just provides incentives for them to strive hard to win the award every week.”

In addition to adding weekly rankings, different categories such as hospital size, geographic zone, hospital type and hospital shape will be used. The company has also announced varying types of quality that will be measured and awarded, such as overall quality, service line quality, physician quality, nurse quality, nurse practitioner quality, total quality and comprehensive quality.

In a separate announcement, MedRankers announced record profits in the first quarter of 2009. A company spokesperson attributes the success to including more and more rankings, as well as to the addition of the company’s latest program, aimed at hospital administrators, called “Promoting quality awards: why your life depends on it.”

“For new clients who sign up with us before July 1, we’re offering to work for free for the life of the relationship,” said STD president David Pogilvy. “The margins are low – hell, they’re zero. But tough times call for tough action.”

According to Pogilvy, the agency will provide new clients with free marketing, PR, advertising and communications work, without any costs, for as long as the client remains active. The move comes in response to the ongoing budget cuts at hospital marketing departments, which were followed by discounts on services and offers of free consulting by other advertising and marketing firms.

“Others may offer a free audit, or $10,000 in free consulting,” said Pogilvy. “But we’ve decided why limit the discount? We want STD spread everywhere.”

Asked how current paying clients might respond to the promotion, Pogilvy said he wasn’t worried.

“Sure, they could quit, and then sign on as ‘new’ to receive free work forever,” he said. “But we have true symbiotic relationships with our clients. Why look for free help when you can pay us hundreds of thousands of dollars for a truly authentic experience? Uhhh…oh s***. This is off the record, right?”

“Good thing we weren’t actually riding all those times the picture was used,” joked Steve, a former barber. “We would have put a million miles on that bike!”

Steve and Sherry’s introduction into healthcare advertising began in 1973, when Steve’s brother, Brian, snapped a shot of the couple riding a tandem bike through Hyde Park in New York. Brian happened to work at a nearby hospital and brought the picture into work the following day, showing it around the department.

“Our corporate council really loved it, and we thought, why not use this to promote our hospital,” said Brian. “Who knew it would grow to become such a classic icon?”

Over the 35+ years since, Steve and Sherry have been photographed on more than 127 different tandem bikes and used in advertising for more than 1,400 hospitals and health systems. According to Steve, what started as something fun the couple did on the side turned into a lucrative business in the 1990s.

“That’s when it really took off, thanks to the availability of cheap stock photography over the Internet,” he said. “At that point, every hospital, system, clinic, doctor or veterinarian could use our photo. And it seemed like they did!”

Now independently wealthy, Steve and Sherry plan on traveling the world before settling down in their hometown of Miami, Florida.

“We probably could have kept going for years,” Sherry said. “But it felt like it was time to move on to something new.”