The first billboard, emblazoned with ‘Text 24347824 to find out our ER Wait Times,’ generated a 40% increase in ER patient volume the first day.  “They couldn’t get the ambulances here fast enough,” Chief Marketing Officer Handley McNeil noted.  “Within one week, we were the top ER volume in the state. It was amazing, especially since our ER wait times actually went through the roof!”

Emboldened by that success, they launched a follow-up effort titled ‘Picture Yourself at CNUMC.’ This phase of the campaign billboard offered a prize: ‘Tweet a picture of yourself driving by this billboard and you’ll be entered to win $100,000!’

“This was a great touch,” enthused McNeil, “It allowed people to real-time picture share via a picture-based photo site we’d set up. All you needed was a smartphone to enter!”

The winner of the contest, Sam Fisherton, was “shocked and amazed,” when he found out he won. “This will really help out,” Mr. Fisherton said from his rehabilitation hospital bed.  “One less hip I have to pay for!”

The campaign has been so successful in raising ED volumes that McNeil is planning a third phase featuring billboards with QR codes on Interstate 37.

“It will definitely take some skill to use a QR code scanner while cruising 75 miles an hour, but that makes it more fun,” said McNeil. “This combination of new technologies and traditional ads is literally bringing bodies to our front door.”

Waynesville Health director of marketing, Garth Sanders, remarked, “We know for a fact that reaching women is critical to the success of almost any healthcare marketing campaign. They wear the pants, so to speak, when it comes to making healthcare decisions. We needed a campaign that not only spoke to women, but was spoken by women. After a month of brainstorming we came up with ‘That’s what she said,’ a campaign that focuses on testimonials from women who’ve experienced the compassionate care of our hospital and clinics.”

While outdoor, print and television advertising played an important role in the campaign, the element that really took off was social media, specifically twitter. “We asked consumers to tweet about the healthcare decisions they’re faced with,” said Sanders. “And, we were stunned at how quickly our #ThatsWhatSheSaid hash tag took off. We see hundreds, if not thousands, of tweets and retweets each day.”

“We don’t try to understand every tweet that rolls in,” Sanders added. “They make sense within the context of their respective conversations. We’re just excited to see our brand penetrate the market and social media community in such powerful manner.”

A quick search of the #ThatsWhatSheSaid hash tag reveals the impressive reach of this campaign. Results include:

• It’s been a while since you’ve used it that way. #thatswhatshesaid
• You’ve been at it for hours are you finished yet? #thatswhatshesaid
• This outcome is most unimpressive. #thatswhatshesaid
• Sweet mother of pearl! I don’t even know what to say! #thatswhatshesaid

“Credit must be given where it’s due,” Sanders added. “Our graphic design intern, Jeremy, really drove this concept. Fresh out of college, we were floored by his innovative thinking. Not to mention his modesty.” When the Weekly Probe caught up with Jeremy during his holiday break we asked for his thoughts on the campaign.

“I don’t feel like I can take total credit for the concept,” Jeremy commented. “In fact I’m a little shocked at how the team latched on to it. During a brainstorm session someone suggested a lengthy title and Garth said, ‘That’s way too long.’ I replied, ‘That’s what she said.’ And the rest is history, I guess.”

Modest indeed.

“Everyone says these web sites are online versions of the water cooler, so we went ahead and eliminated the actual water coolers,” said KMC Vice President of Compliance, Staffing and Totalitarianism, E. B. Skruge. “Boom! That’s what I’m talking about!”

Skruge noted that the organization had already blocked social web sites such as Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, as well as Google, Yahoo, CNN.com, ESPN.com, and “pretty much anything ‘.com.’” The goal, he said, is to eliminate any possible distractions for staff that could take them away from focusing on their jobs. When asked how employees could keep up with their hospital’s own Facebook page and Twitter feed if the sites were blocked, Skruge said he was unaware of any such “doo-hickeys.”

“No one should have time in their day to socialize, or keep up to date on news, or in any other way feel like a connected human being,” stated Skruge. “But it’s not just communicating online – we’re trying to eliminate all forms of unnecessary communication, such as the kind that takes place around the water cooler. If you want to talk to a coworker about anything other than work, save it for the weekend.”

The hospital has created a “Non-essential communication elimination committee” that made the recommendation to remove the facility’s water coolers. Skruge said the committee is also considering the elimination of break rooms, bus shelters, the cafeteria and any hallways with perceptible gathering spots. KMC Director of Internal Communications Jake Marley was unavailable for comment.

“We’ve jumped head first into social media, and what we’ve learned through Facebook is truly eye opening,” said Becker. “Following the completion of the ‘What color are you?’ quiz, the result of ‘beige’ gives us tremendous insight into how to engage our community, and we’re acting immediately on that information.”

As a result of this discovery, the organization has embarked on a process to redesign its corporate identity to feature beige. Becker noted they hoped to reflect other findings from the quiz results, which read in part: “You are beige! You tend to be bland and boring, a mix of white and gray. You’re not much of a dreamer, preferring to mire yourself in mediocrity and sameness. You don’t laugh easily, are slow to the uptake, and generally blend into the woodwork.”

Becker also announced that based on the Facebook strategy, Pantaloon Hospital is now a fan of “sunshine” and “baby seals,” is trying to rob the electronics store in Mafia Wars, is most like the Jimmy Buffet song “Cheeseburger in Paradise,” and is a “mean” drunk.

John Smith, VP of Marketing at General, explains:

“We used to have identical billboards that said “General Hospital Cancer Center – Because We Care.” But after reviewing our Google Analytics we realized that people want very specific information. For example, last year five people searched our site for ‘cerebral astrocytoma’ and another four looked for ‘laryngeal cancer symptoms.’ We have thousands of highly targeted search phrases at our fingertips.”

The strategy calls for hundreds of highly targeted billboards spread out in the region, each featuring photos of the appropriate specialist (sample billboard shown above).

According to Smith, “Our most important customers are our doctors, and they love to see themselves when they drive into work.” Asked if it might be cheaper to just buy placement on search engines, Smith responded:

“How would that help us? There’s no place to put the doctor’s photo in those ads. Also, billboard advertising has a proven hundred-year track record. The web has only been around for ten – it’s very risky.”

“It’s our belief that you’ll get ten times the content value from posts that are one tenth the size,” says Smatter CEO Thomas Smidge.

The social media entrant will introduce a whole new vernacular as well. Instead of posting “tweets,” members will post “smatts,” forwarded posts will be called “resmatts” and group conversations will be “smatt-chats.”

Smidge says Smatter will address a different audience than Twitter, focusing on those who only have fleeting seconds to communicate with others, those who feel 140 characters is “bloated,” and those with attention deficit disorder. Smidge offered a sample conversation to illustrate the new tool:

@bigboob: hi there, I’m
@mrman: nice to mt u,
@bigboob: Smatter is awe
@mrman: you ain’t kidd
@bigboob: RS @mrman you a

The company, which is launching the new service later in the year, refused to release revenue projections, or outline a revenue model.