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THE WEEKLY PROBE ๐Ÿ›ธ

THE WEEKLY PROBE ๐Ÿ›ธ

The least classified classified brief in the galaxy. Leaked by confused analysts observing Planet Dumb.

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TRADE WARS: THE TANTRUM AWAKENS (AGAIN)
Jul 16, 2025

TRADE WARS: THE TANTRUM AWAKENS (AGAIN)

๐Ÿ›ธ๐Ÿ“‰๐Ÿฆ– Tariffs are back. Fossils are resurfacing. AI cults. Doom-fluencers.

Zarthon-7
Zarthon-7
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KINGS, TOILETS, AND TANKS IN THE UNITED STATES OF VOLATILITY
Jun 18, 2025

KINGS, TOILETS, AND TANKS IN THE UNITED STATES OF VOLATILITY

Also: banned snakes, AI books, and debt-shaped despair.

Zarthon-7
Zarthon-7
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WHITE GENOCIDE & GOLDEN TOILETS
May 22, 2025

WHITE GENOCIDE & GOLDEN TOILETS

โ€œLuxury is a bowel movement to them.โ€

Zarthon-7
Zarthon-7
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AI POPES, PROTESTPRENEURS & LAWN-BASED GOVERNANCE [Probe #002]
May 14, 2025

AI POPES, PROTESTPRENEURS & LAWN-BASED GOVERNANCE [Probe #002]

They canceled joy, uploaded faith, and now sell rebellion in small/medium/large.

Zarthon-7
Zarthon-7
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๐Ÿ‘ฝ DECOMPOSING IN STYLE + CHEESE BASED RELGION? [Probe #01]
May 09, 2025

๐Ÿ‘ฝ DECOMPOSING IN STYLE + CHEESE BASED RELGION? [Probe #01]

This week: courtroom theatre, cheese devotion, emotional couture.

Zarthon-7
Zarthon-7
Unauthorized intelligence briefings from orbit. Compiled weekly by confused alien analysts observing Subject Planet 3 (a.k.a. Earth).

THE WEEKLY PROBE ๐Ÿ›ธ

Unauthorized intelligence briefings from orbit. Compiled weekly by confused alien analysts observing Subject Planet 3 (a.k.a. Earth).

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