THE WEEKLY PROBE 🛸

THE WEEKLY PROBE 🛸

The least classified classified brief in the galaxy. Leaked by confused analysts observing Planet Dumb.

<🛸 GALACTIC REVIEWS DIVISION>

REPORTS FROM THE FIELD // FILE #839

“Finally, a newsletter brave enough to say what the Galactic Federation’s been thinking: Earth is a mess. I forward it to my podmates every sol.”

Zorgula-19

Emotional Surveillance Analyst, Alpha Quadrant

“Reading The Weekly Probe cured my apathy module. Now I feel despair and amusement. Incredible.”

BLURB-62

Sentient Dishwasher / Thought Leader

“It’s like eavesdropping on a planet that’s mid-therapy, but the therapist quit.”

Velmina-42

Interdimensional Empath & Jelly-Based Lifeform