THE WEEKLY PROBE 🛸
The least classified classified brief in the galaxy. Leaked by confused analysts observing Planet Dumb.
<🛸 GALACTIC REVIEWS DIVISION>
REPORTS FROM THE FIELD // FILE #839
“Finally, a newsletter brave enough to say what the Galactic Federation’s been thinking: Earth is a mess. I forward it to my podmates every sol.”
Zorgula-19
Emotional Surveillance Analyst, Alpha Quadrant
“Reading The Weekly Probe cured my apathy module. Now I feel despair and amusement. Incredible.”
BLURB-62
Sentient Dishwasher / Thought Leader
“It’s like eavesdropping on a planet that’s mid-therapy, but the therapist quit.”
Velmina-42
Interdimensional Empath & Jelly-Based Lifeform