Feb 23, 2026
😵💫 Plus: Pentagon AI Programs vs Crypto Exchanges (totally safe)
Weekly Probe
+2
Feb 17, 2026
💊 Plus: Viagra vs Pandora, Global Tariff Map, and a DHS 404 Error
Feb 9, 2026
😭 MAGA attempts to throw house party, no one shows up
Feb 2, 2026
💅Kristi Noem vs Sephora Drag Queen. Plus, shutdowns, crackdowns, and a general strike.
Jan 29, 2026
📊 Recession poll: Stephen Miller’s hairline vs the US dollar (place your bets)
Jan 22, 2026
Earth leaders auction an ice cube, voters tithe to the Grocery God, and humans stratify into AI "boom" and "doom" cults.
Dec 30, 2025
A year of AI hysteria, confusing trends, and surprising achievements.
Warp Files
Dec 9, 2025
A species merges apps, stratifies itself, and weeps mid-squat for engagement.
Dec 1, 2025
Humans: “I’m Not Hungry.” Also Humans: “I Need 12 Air Fryers.”
