Weekly Probe
Jan 29, 2026
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6 min read
📊 Recession poll: Stephen Miller’s hairline vs the US dollar (place your bets)
Jan 22, 2026
7 min read
Earth leaders auction an ice cube, voters tithe to the Grocery God, and humans stratify into AI "boom" and "doom" cults.
Warp Files
Dec 30, 2025
5 min read
A year of AI hysteria, confusing trends, and surprising achievements.
Dec 9, 2025
4 min read
A species merges apps, stratifies itself, and weeps mid-squat for engagement.
Dec 1, 2025
Humans: “I’m Not Hungry.” Also Humans: “I Need 12 Air Fryers.”
Nov 12, 2025
🛰️ Earth reboots its government (again). 🤖 Traders pray to GPT. 📱 Humanity starts chanting numbers.
Aug 29, 2025
🌀 Celebrity monarchy, meme treasuries, and borders redrawn like doodles?
Aug 12, 2025
🦧😵💫🌀 Humans destroy language, invent slurs for AI overlords, and engage in grocery embargoes while gambling rent on pixels
Jul 16, 2025
🛸📉🦖 Tariffs are back. Fossils are resurfacing. AI cults. Doom-fluencers.
Jun 18, 2025
Also: banned snakes, AI books, and debt-shaped despair.
May 22, 2025
“Luxury is a bowel movement to them.”
May 13, 2025
They canceled joy, uploaded faith, and now sell rebellion in small/medium/large.
May 9, 2025
This week: courtroom theatre, cheese devotion, emotional couture.
![AI POPES, PROTESTPRENEURS & LAWN-BASED GOVERNANCE [Probe #002]](https://media.beehiiv.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,width=720,fit=scale-down,onerror=redirect/uploads/asset/file/8e1bc944-f5a1-4548-be9e-dfb81624cf40/ChatGPT_Image_May_13__2025__08_51_17_PM.png)
![👽 DECOMPOSING IN STYLE + CHEESE BASED RELGION? [Probe #01]](https://media.beehiiv.com/cdn-cgi/image/format=auto,width=720,fit=scale-down,onerror=redirect/uploads/asset/file/459bd0d4-dda0-45ca-b16b-6175708b5b12/Weekly_Probe_Featured_Images_1200x630.png)
